Truth Rules

A blog for fans of Clay Aiken. It may take a while but in the end, truth will win out over lies. Keep it clean, no threats ... and if I don't like what you say I own the delete key.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

You've got to be taught

I watched the Good Morning America interview Clay Aiken did this past week with Diane Sawyer. I've read his article that appeared in this weeks People Magazine. I'm reading the various fan reactions on his fan boards and they range from full support for Clay to some of the most hateful words possible.

One fan posted the lyrics of a song from South Pacific and it dawned on me that I was never taught to hate. Yes there were a few my parents didn't care for but it was because of what they did, not who they were. Those lessons I didn't know I was learning were the same ones I passed on to my children. I never taught them to hate. I did teach them to look at each person as an individual and either like them or not for what they do, not who they are.

There have been times when I'd hear one of my kids say something prejudicial and my response was always "You didn't learn that from me." I never connected the dots until I saw these lyrics.

You've got to be taught to hate and fear
You've got to be taught from year to year
It's got to be drummed in your dear little ear
You've got to be carefully taught

You've got to be taught to be afraid
Of people who's eyes are oddly made
And people whose skin is a different shade
You've got to be carefully taught

You've got to be taught
Before it's too late
Before you are six, or seven, or eight
To hate all the people your relatives hate
You've got to be carefully taught
You've got to be carefully taught

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Blogger WRU said...

I found a great article that sums up my feelings about the whole thing:

Comments by Mitzi Gill

I seldom read the message boards for lack of time, but recent circumstances
have led me to click on some to examine reactions of other fans to Clay's coming out.
Following is a recap of my own thoughts and why I continue to stand behind him.
Over the past five years, I believe Clay has demonstrated consistently who he is
regarding his purpose and his drive for the inclusion and well-being of children
worldwide as well as his empathy, faith, gentleness, intelligence, integrity,
sense of humor, and multi-talents. All of these traits have endeared him to me,
and none of them have been diminished by his sexual orientation.

Because of my thirty years in entertainment, I have numerous male friends who
are gay. In learning their stories, there is a common thread. All of them
realized at an early age that they were different, that they did not know why
they were different, and they did not want to be different. To my knowledge,
there is not a consensus of opinion nor any conclusive research relating to why
a person becomes gay. Is it genetic? Is it due to circumstances in childhood?
Whatever the reason, being gay is not an elective, and it demands
an excruciating process of self-realization and self-acceptance. It is a
process that deeply involves family and friends, and there appear to be no easy
choices in dealing with this scenario. Most of my friends have opted to protect
their family and their friends as a first priority, thus remaining in discrete

Clay came from a North Carolina town with a simple and stable lifestyle.
His was to be the road of a special education teacher. He never anticipated being
thrust into the madhouse of the music industry. Just making this transition
alone had to have been an astronomical adjustment. Underlying this was the
agony of recognizing his sexual identity. Already bombarded with horrible press
and ugly comments all over the Internet, it is not surprising he
was unable to publicly acknowledge early on that he is gay He was still
sorting it all out and sheltering family. I cannot fault him for this.

Clay's journey to the point of admitting he is gay had to have been emotionally
staggering. Put yourself in his shoes. How would you respond if all of the
intimate and private details of your life, good and bad, were blasted to the
world through tabloid media? Could Clay have come out sooner? In my
estimation, no. Was he hiding the truth about himself? No. His delay was due
to his concern for his mom, family and close friends. When he did go public, it
was because of his love and concern for his son Parker. He was willing to
sacrifice his career for the sake of his son. Clay's decisions and timing were
not focused primarily on himself.

I have to agree with Diane Sawyer when she contradicted Clay about his opinion
that he is able to handle adversity better than most. Yes, he is an astute
problem solver and does not collapse under pressure, but he often covers those
things that are highly emotional for him with comic relief. Some took offense
at his seeming irreverence for his mother when recounting how he first told her
that he is gay, but I believe his laughter was an escape mechanism when the tone
of the program was becoming too intense for him. I know Clay holds his mother
dear to him, and he would never treat her feelings disrespectfully.

Responding to religious issues, I am a Christian, but I will not judge Clay. To do that
I would have to be perfect, a concept far from who I am. My job is to love one another
and Clay remains worthy of my love.

I do not think that Clay has "used" his fan base in any way. Like any
gifted entertainer, he has taken time to understand his audience and has
provided them with what they enjoy, often making himself the brunt of jokes
during his interactive concerts.

On numerous occasions, he has thanked fans and told them how much he loves and
appreciates them. I have seen tears in his eyes when someone in the audience
called out to him. He walks the lines of fans waiting for touches of his hand following
each of his concerts. He has posted blogs, stopping only when he was working 'Spamalot', recording a new album, honoring his UNICEF obligations, and preparing for a baby simultaneously. In current posts to fans, he acknowledges he is "speechless" regarding
the many messages of support he has received and adds, "I love you all." Clay is a
giver rather than a taker, and it is obvious that the relationship between Clay
and his fans is a two-way street. I have no doubts about his sincerity.

I fully understand the emotionally charged air that exists right now as an
aftermath to Clay's coming out because I am also engulfed by it.
There is no emergency for making a decision within a few of days of his
confirmation while many may still be confused and hurting.
Why not calm down and enjoy the Clay that we
have known since AI2? Wouldn't it be wiser to grant Clay time to
express himself within the new parameters that now exist? Wouldn't it make
more sense to give ourselves a chance to test the waters? I don't see
the necessity of a deadline, and there is certainly no need for anger, hostility, or disrespect
aimed at Clay or among his fans.

I now have an opportunity to get closer to Clay, to understand him more deeply,
and, most importantly, to continue to celebrate an exceptional man with a
compassionate heart and a voice that takes me to places of ecstasy. I could
never repay him for the joy, encouragement, new friends, and sheer fun he has
brought into my life with his unfolding story. I cannot and will not abandon my
commitment to unconditional love.

September 28, 2008 10:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

But he did,and is still lying.

September 29, 2008 10:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I see unconditional support has gone right out the window for some people.If you feel that way then leave the fandom.

He's not your husband and not your spiritual leader...he is an entertainer..all he has to do is entertain and he does that quite well.
His personal life should have never been questioned,it shouldn't be anyones business.
There is no need for him to crawl on his knees to beg forgiveness from anyone so they can justify thier own selfish needs.

This was the hardest thing he probably ever had to do and I wish some fans would stop trying to make him feel small. He finally has a chance to live his life on his own terms and give him himself permission to be happy,let him have that.

September 30, 2008 12:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How is Clay still lying? He says he is gay! I was orginally bothered by Clay's lyiing; however, I figure Clay has been ridiculed and dissed his entire life. I will not add to that. He was afraid. It was a major decision for him. I understand and I forgive him for lying. I will continue to support him.

September 30, 2008 2:15 PM  
Blogger Truth Rules said...

WRU, I just saw what you posted in your comment. Too bad what Mitzi Gill had to say was buried in the comment section. She nails it.

October 12, 2008 3:35 PM  

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